Those of you who are not upper-channel tv addicts might not know Creflo Dollar. He is a finely dressed ["I only wear Gucci on casual Fridays"] afro-american televangelist, who offers you now the opportunity to enroll in his "School of Prosperity" - where you will learn, I kid you not, "why God wants you rich". And Creflo doesn't mean in that namby-pamby spiritual wealth way, we're talking cold hard cash here. In fact you will be given your "millionaire login" He should know, after all, he now drives a handsome black rolls royce [what rolls do you think Jesus would drive? a classic silver phantom? or a newer, more understated model?], And, of course, to underscore his message, apparently he changed his name from Michael Smith [so boring] to Creflo Augustus Dollar [subtle, really] I wonder what he would do with scriptures like these:
- If you want to be complete, sell your possessions and give to the poor. Mt.19:21 [also Mk 10:21 & Lu 18:22]
- It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God. Mt 19:23
- God has filled the hungry with good things but sent the rich away with empty hands. Lu 1:33
- Blessed are you poor Lu 6:20
- Woe to you rich Lu 6:24
- Sell your possessions and give to the poor Lu 12:33
- God has chosen the poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith Ja 2:5
- And isn't it the rich who are the ones exploiting you? Ja 2:6
- Come now you rich, weep and howl for the miseries that are coming upon you. Ja 5:1
But like so many expressions of fundamentalism Dollar, isn't going to let the Bible get in the way of his beliefs. Still he's lucky he lives in the States. In Canada we call our dollar a loonie, so he'd be Creflo Loonie, , , , even though it would be more theologically accurate, Creffie would probably still be shopping at Moores. ['course I shop at Value Village, so who am I to talk?]
postscript 1: Am guessing that the Reverend Dollar might not have got along with Pope Gregory nor the writer of the Didache.
postscript 2: In case he seems extreme here's a bit of an update on other upper channel fellows"
- Don Stewart has had a ‘faith, health and prosperity’ bracelet made especially for you, for $33.[US]. You can also get a‘Green Prosperity Prayer Cloth’ personally blessed and anointed by Don through which you will ‘receive abundant blessings of financial prosperity’ Instructions included.
- The almost disgraced Robert Tilton offered prayer cloths too, at least until it came to light that he instructed his staff to keep the cheques and chuck the prayer requests in the garbage bin. He's back on tv now.
- Meanwhile LeRoy Jenkins apparently is again distributing his ‘miracle water’ though in 2003 the Department of Agriculture found it was contaminated with coliform [yech.]
- And Peter Popoff offers Miracle Spring Water [apparently sans human waste] and includes his book on Prosperity Thinking